Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy 2007 America! -Love, Pat


According to this article, Jesus told Pat Robertson that there is going to be another major terrorist attack. We already have been given the number one quote of 2007:

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear. The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

I think that the Lord probably told Pat this so that some attention could be redirected from all the Colorado same-sex scandal of the past month or so. It's really a good plan on Jesus' part. This is why he started audibly speaking to Pat 20 years ago. Anytime there's bad press for Jesus, he can always redirect it to one person, Pat, by telling him crazy shit that makes Pat look bad for everybody. Good thinking.

On a serious note, Paco, do you have a place for me to stay in South Korea? If we're going to get blown up, I don't want to be around. I figure South Korea is a good hiding spot.

It's also good to know that Ariel Sharon was given a stroke for ceding land to Palestine. Nevermind his consistent acts of corporate terrorism against Palestine. For God's sake, it took God thousands of years to get His own country going (aside from America), so he damn well better smite people who compromise what He had to work so hard for.

So as well all look ahead at 2007, let's all remain thankful that this is probably only the small first taste of all the crazy shit Pat Robertson is going to say and do in the coming year.

5 Comments:

At 1/03/2007 11:04 PM, Blogger Dusty said...

Do you think Jesus would pronounce it "nuk-u-lar"...maybe that is where Bush got it from...

 
At 1/03/2007 11:48 PM, Blogger Andy said...

pat robertson is so 2006. we need a new evangelical warrior to scare people into right behavior and we need it fast. people have started to think that robertson's nothing but empty threats for some reason. I suppose though that if you take enough stabs in the dark you're bound to strike somewhere.

 
At 1/04/2007 1:33 AM, Blogger Liza said...

the best part about this? we still have 361 days of more laughs with pat in '07! hoo-rah!

 
At 1/04/2007 4:31 AM, Blogger Jeff BBz said...

pat robertson is so not 2006, he is so 1987.

sure you can come hang out here. if there is one place completely safe from any nuclear threat these days its south korea...oh wait...

that quote is awesome by the by.

 
At 1/04/2007 1:32 PM, Blogger Ryan 1 said...

I think Valerie from the Fresh Prince of Belaire was on the 700 club yesterday. She's helping Pat learn how to cook so that he can lose weight in 2007. Paco, remember how Maxwells always used to watch the 700 club?

 

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