Season 3, mostly; some Season 2
Since I only heard about 17 new albums this year, and can't remember what books I read, here is a list of funny things I heard on Curb Your Enthusiasm either this year or last year or possibly two years ago, too. Ummmm, and the really bad words have had their prefixes changed.
- Wanda: Why'd you fire the black man?
Larry: I fired the black man... because... he's the guy who set up the whole system here and it doesn't work! And he's here like... every week, I'm givin' him checks, we've got five remotes, I can't turn it on....but I know, you know, *black* man can *never* do anything *wrong*, at least to get fired from a job! Black people *always* do everything right!
Wanda: [Walks over to TV, pushes button, fixes it] You gotta turn the damn satellite on for the TV to work! See the little green light? Just gotta turn it on! Or you can fire the black man. Whatever works for you.
- Larry: What are you doing there?
Man: A little plumbing.
Larry: A little plumbing! Got to plumb! Plumb the depths! The depths of hell!
- Larry: Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
- Susie Green: You fat truck! And you bald piece of shampoo! Where's the milking head?
[After Larry and Jeff steal a doll's head from Jeff's kid to give it to the daughter of some executive at ABC]
- Richard Lewis: Ya mucked it up! You don't know how to use a doggamn cell phone!
Larry: It was a shampoo cell phone!
Richard Lewis: A mucking praying mantis could use that doggamn phone!