Thursday, December 28, 2006

Season 3, mostly; some Season 2

Since I only heard about 17 new albums this year, and can't remember what books I read, here is a list of funny things I heard on Curb Your Enthusiasm either this year or last year or possibly two years ago, too. Ummmm, and the really bad words have had their prefixes changed.

  1. Wanda: Why'd you fire the black man?
    Larry: I fired the black man... because... he's the guy who set up the whole system here and it doesn't work! And he's here like... every week, I'm givin' him checks, we've got five remotes, I can't turn it on....but I know, you know, *black* man can *never* do anything *wrong*, at least to get fired from a job! Black people *always* do everything right!
    Wanda: [Walks over to TV, pushes button, fixes it] You gotta turn the damn satellite on for the TV to work! See the little green light? Just gotta turn it on! Or you can fire the black man. Whatever works for you.

  2. Larry: What are you doing there?
    Man: A little plumbing.
    Larry: A little plumbing! Got to plumb! Plumb the depths! The depths of hell!

  3. Larry: Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.

  4. Susie Green: You fat truck! And you bald piece of shampoo! Where's the milking head?
    [After Larry and Jeff steal a doll's head from Jeff's kid to give it to the daughter of some executive at ABC]

  5. Richard Lewis: Ya mucked it up! You don't know how to use a doggamn cell phone!
    Larry: It was a shampoo cell phone!
    Richard Lewis: A mucking praying mantis could use that doggamn phone!
Okay, that last one was pathetic. But I'm trying to keep it within the realm of things you wouldn't feel bad saying in church. And who doesn't like to say "doggammit!" in church?!?


At 12/29/2006 12:19 AM, Blogger Jeff BBz said...

Good times. Although the last quote its a little hard to tell what is going on and which words you changed? I mean was it all just swears? Or was praying mantis in there? if so praying mantis' are funny and not used enough in jokes. some one should make an awesome arrested development list too.

At 12/29/2006 4:45 PM, Blogger jonny said...

the praying mantis is part of the joke. and i agree, there aren't enough praying mantis jokes, especially praying mantis on the cell phone jokes.

At 12/29/2006 11:35 PM, Blogger Joey said...

Tobias: Well, yes, but I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Michael: There are just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Episode 2.10 is particularly funny....

At 12/30/2006 12:52 AM, Blogger Ryan 1 said...

I have a couple nugs from for now. Maybe more later, plus AD quote list perhaps later.

1. Larry: Is it safe to assume that a black man wearing a bow-tie is Muslim?

2. Jeff: My friend, we have much bigger problems that a numb vagina.


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