Dees Nuts: Why I am and will always be FAT

I just realized something. If i continue to eat a can of luxury mixed nuts (did you even know they made mixed nuts without peanuts!?!?!?) or a bag of unbelievable local tortilla chips every night I will eventually bulge to 3,000 pounds and die. Alas, is there any hope for the fat man? Will I ever know true love? I am fat by choice and yet as much as I choose I only can get so fat. It's amazing really. I've chosen fatness forever (minus 6 months my freshman year of high school) and still don't even way 450 pounds. That's funny. I'm going to go be sick now from all of these nuts that I cannot resist. One last Brazil...I swear it will be my last of the night.....................................






HELP!!!! WILL SOMEONE TAKE DEES NUTS AWAY FROM ME!?!?!?


argh.

posted by Jake Sikora @ 11:33 PM