Friday, September 23, 2005

Dees Nuts: Why I am and will always be FAT


I just realized something. If i continue to eat a can of luxury mixed nuts (did you even know they made mixed nuts without peanuts!?!?!?) or a bag of unbelievable local tortilla chips every night I will eventually bulge to 3,000 pounds and die. Alas, is there any hope for the fat man? Will I ever know true love? I am fat by choice and yet as much as I choose I only can get so fat. It's amazing really. I've chosen fatness forever (minus 6 months my freshman year of high school) and still don't even way 450 pounds. That's funny. I'm going to go be sick now from all of these nuts that I cannot resist. One last Brazil...I swear it will be my last of the night.....................................






HELP!!!! WILL SOMEONE TAKE DEES NUTS AWAY FROM ME!?!?!?


argh.

2 Comments:

At 9/24/2005 5:06 PM, Blogger Brian said...

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At 9/24/2005 5:16 PM, Blogger Brian said...

I fondly remember you plowing through a can of cashews durring some WWF pay-per-view events. Ah...good times. Maybe with any luck, science will discover that eating cans of mixed nuts will add 10 to 15 years to your life. Then you'll have the last laugh as you wheel your 450 lb. ass out the church doors.

 

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