Thursday, May 17, 2007

People who will be in Heaven (mostly):

The following is a (partial) list of people who will be in heaven:
  1. Ed Asner
  2. Thomas Magnum (not a real person)
  3. Minnie Driver
  4. Ed Begley, Jr.
  5. Tony Stewart

Also, a (nearly) complete list of people who will be in hell:
  1. Sorcerers (but not magicians)
  2. Hawk Handlers (those birds should be free)
  3. Hudson Hawk (not a real person)

Class is in session.

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At 5/17/2007 8:44 AM, Blogger Andy said...

how can you say that Thomas Magnum isn't real? I hope this doesn't mean that Higgins won't be up there.

You also forgot to list ALL DOGS. You know... cause all dogs go to heaven.

At 5/17/2007 10:28 AM, Blogger Jeff BBz said...

oh man, if hudson hawk were real, you bet your bottom dollar he would be in hell for all that singing. For the heaven list I would like to add dikembe mutumbo.

Also I think we should probably keep a running tally or list on some side bar of the blog of various people going to various eternal destinies. What say you guys?

At 5/17/2007 11:50 PM, Blogger jonny said...

i second the running tally. i also second dikembe mutumbo.

we should also have a tally of fictional characters in fictional heaven. and because i never actually met jerry falwell, and only read about him or saw him on tv, and cannot prove he actually existed, he will be counted as fictional alongside thomas magnum. also added to the list will be ralph macchio and larry bird's portrayal of larry bird for those McDonald's commercials where he would bank the basketball off skyscrapers and airplanes. no way was that real.

At 5/21/2007 3:07 PM, Anonymous matt said...

adding to those who art in heaven. (this is a great idea, btw)

Mister Rogers (duh)
Jim Henson
Rollie Fingers
Brandt Findlay
Andre the Giant (the real guy)

Yakko Wakko and Dot
Leslie from "Bridge To Terabithia"
Corky Thatcher
Anne of Green Gables stepdad.

At 5/22/2007 6:26 PM, Blogger Ryan 1 said...

To supplement Matt's additional are some additional hell-boundies.

Thomas Kincaid
Anyone who has ever worn a Yankees Jersey (players and fans)
Gene Shalot
Whoopi Goldberg
(although the last two may be the same person)

Gene Shalot
Mr. Darcy
Flip the Dolphin
The Complainer

At 5/23/2007 9:56 AM, Blogger Joey said...


-Ross the Intern
-Gary Busey

-Pete's Dragon
-The Dude
-John Calvin

At 5/24/2007 6:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, all baseball players with good names will be in heaven.

Boof Bonser
Derek Jeter
Chone Figgins
Kevin Gregg

At 5/24/2007 11:12 PM, Blogger jonny said...

ryan, it's impossible for whoopi goldberg to go to hell because a) she's my subconscious personification of the holy spirit, meaning for some reason when i think of the holy spirit i see whoopi goldberg, and b) she's a goldberg, and therefore one of god's chosen people, so naturally she'll be around.

and joey, i can't believe i missed gary busey. good call.

also, check out paco's new idea, and blog dedicated to this topic, only mostly relating to sporting men:

sports destiny

so far, it's been pretty quiet.


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