Thursday, April 13, 2006

Afghans selling US army 'files'

According to this lame report from the BBC ( I don't know how to link) about a report from the LA times (what?):

"Shopkeepers at a market next to Bagram base, outside Kabul, have been selling memory drives stolen from the facility, the Los Angeles Times newspaper says...The Los Angeles Times report said disks on sale at the market outside Bagram contained the names of allegedly corrupt Afghan officials, reports on enemy targets and details about US defences...A separate report by the Associated Press news agency appeared to confirm sensitive information could be acquired from the market."

I've been there, man! That's an hour from my first village. I've eaten kabob there and drank mirinda and ridden there with three people on a small motorcycle that we broke eventually but it only cost $1 to repair (one dollar! It was like some kind of major thing, too) I've probably browsed through this shop. And dude they are not just selling stolen memory drives! they are selling stolen cd players, stolen mp3 players, stolen computers, stolen shirts, stolen shoes, stolen camos, stolen hats, stolen power bars, stolen really old gatorades, and stolen really old crackers! It's a shopping bonanza! You can get one of those memory drives at 256 mb for about 8 or 9 bucks if you are good. Just ask me, I bought one!

Now as for this stupid report that this is happening (sooo late). Come on, Bin laden is not browsing these shops to see if he can score sweet info on American soldiers. The one I bought had pics of this guy hanging out with his friends. While I am sure that it is possible that something "sensitive" could turn up (although why would it be on a memory drive?), This is not why these things are for sale. As should be stressed by the story (although thus negating the stories need to exist), People are not after these things for the "sensitve data" or "a manual for flying the US military's Chinook helicopter." (Although those things are dumb and loud, so if i could...)

"A shopkeeper interviewed by the Associated Press news agency said he was not interested in the worth of the information on the memory drives. He reportedly said he was selling the items for their value as hardware alone. 'They were all stolen from offices inside the base by the Afghans working there,' he told the agency. 'I get them all the time.'"

For those of you following along in romanized dari that's: "Ar wakht migirum."

These shopkeepers and whoever, don't care at all about this, they are just trying to make some money and a sweet way to do that is to sell stolen merch. And people are buying it because they want cheap electronics and camo shirts and I guess old crackers. What a dumb fake scare mongering story. I mean what would some one even do if they got ahold of like say, some information about soldier training techniques (in english, I might add)? That's right, nothing. Or I guess they could break through all the insane security surrounding the base, jump the wall and sabotage the training, by what? watching? yelling loudly? shooting a russian rifle from the 70's? Duh. I guess i could sabotage that guy's pictures i got by photoshoping in boobs and a hat and starting a blog telling everyone his name was Mr. Boobies Hat (remember that jonny?)

"Hundreds of Afghans are said to be working as cleaners, labourers and auxiliary staff at the Bagram base."

What do you mean "said to be?" Like no one knows? You couldn't find out?

Well, whatever. I have to go back to sabotaging the US army with my stolen 'files.'


At 4/13/2006 3:55 PM, Blogger Jake Sikora said...

good job paul. i remember when you stole your first high security document. i am so proud of you for these things. and i think people want to steal those hats to learn all about hats and then destroy america with hats. i know i would.

At 4/13/2006 4:40 PM, Blogger Jeff BBz said...

You're really on to something. The story also mentioned stolen compasses. I remember those compasses and they were pretty top notch. I should have gotten my hands on some of those.

At 4/13/2006 4:44 PM, Blogger Jake Sikora said...

if you had gotten a compass then we would know which way north was and foil all of the governments plans.


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