Wednesday, March 09, 2005

You have to be kidding

In the category of things that would have been better for the world than the 9/11 hijacking is what amounts to apparently another plan Al-Qaida had cooked up in the works.

Kidnap Russell Crowe.

That's right. I'm awaiting outside confirmation of this from someone other than Russell, specifically from Bin Ladin himself. That aside, Crowe has announced that in 2001, shortly before being named best actor for Gladiator, "Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida terror network wanted to kidnap him as part of a "cultural destabilization plot."

Is American culture really this shallow? Could the same people who rightly identified what symbolized and epitomized US cultural values in the 9/11 plot actually have thought kidnapping Russell Crowe would have destablaized culture? Especially if this plot was cooked up post LA Confidential? I don't want to go so far as to wish that Al-Qaida had kidnapped Russell Crowe, but still, he's terrible. Take a look at this picture before you judge me for hating Russell Crowe.

Unrelated but required is restating an open reward for anyone who can locate actual Josta for me. I have been searching for two years now and have found nothing. If you find it, I will be endentured to you. (This is in reference to a side discussion regarding Josta in the comments of a previous post.)


At 3/09/2005 3:54 PM, Anonymous joey said...

isn't russel crowe australian?

At 3/10/2005 10:18 AM, Anonymous paco said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3/10/2005 10:22 AM, Anonymous Paco said...

yes, russell crowe was born in new zealand. I didn't know that off hand, I had to look it up. really.

But i think the point is that he is such a dynamic actor that his kidnap would indeed send shockwaves through the lives of the aussies and ripple all the way up to the states where you guys live (cause I live in korea which would be uneffected). the kidnap itself would probably not only crush countless souls and minds and destablize our economy, but it would probably have such a devastating impact on the fabric of the universe that it would it would have knocked over the twin towers anyway. I mean i really thought he was that math guy from princeton, he was sooooooo crazy!

and actually the ol' al-quaida probably were so convinced by his stunning performance in the historical masterpeice gladiator, that they thought he was our actual leader. oh if only that were true.

as for josta, jake, I will look for it here in korea, maybe they still have some in stock. they do however have this nasty gatorade style drink called bocari sweat if you want some of that.

At 3/10/2005 11:02 AM, Blogger Andy said...

I actually heard about this when it was happening. I remember there being talk about Crowe not attending the awards becuause there was a fear that it would go down on the red carpet. If I remember correctly they had him enter through some back entrance for his safety.
While all of this does seem a bit rediculous when you think about the "message" of Gladiator the impact of taking the HERO captive would have some sort of impact. Especially if all those guys who love this kind of movie start talking about how alQueda thinks that Gladiator sucks b/c of...
I don't know if it's really that effective of an attack on America, but it does seem like an idea that would keep "their" agenda at the forfront of newscasts for months.

At 3/10/2005 12:14 PM, Blogger Jake Sikora said...

andy i commend you for seeing the world through the eyes of a terroist organization. perhaps the terrorists realized that most americans would not register this as an actual event of importance because they would not read between the themes of the movie and the political situation. inspired by your contribution, i am going to take the perspective further, and suggest that al-qeada sought to capture crowe because he was their hero. Afterall, does he not defeat and kill the emperor? Is not the end of the movie an act of terror? actually, i can't remember. does he kill the emperor? or does he die? its all so confusing. BUT if he kills the emperor at the end of the movie than maybe Al-Qaeda was pissed because they where the true gladiator.

I just heard that in a further attempt to destroy our way of life, the terrorists of the world have organized in a plot to kidnap Bono. 28 year old guys with goatees everywhere unite to overthrow this evil force of terror!


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